Diving into animating

After much deliberation, I finally began animating my potential final film. As seen above, I have worked only in my sketchbook using very small frames, as also seen in my RSA animatic. I have had a lot of trouble committing to one idea, with each one seeming lacklustre or hard to resolve.

To remedy this, I first tried to go back to basics and think about what made me anxious. I first did this visually, drawing out situations that would usually not help my anxiety. I wanted to think about more abstract ways of doing this, and also thought about text.

I then went into it thinking verbally. I mapped out some sub categories and thought about what I wanted to convey using various elements, e.g. themes, sounds and settings. I think that leading up to this I have been thinking too ambitiously to the point of seeing any simpler concepts as unworthy of expanding, when really it is the simpler concepts that allow for more in depth development. 

I want sound to be a large part of this film, whether it's the presence or the absence of it. I am thinking carefully about what role noise plays in my anxiety (a large one) and how this can be translated into film, as well as the practicalities of maybe have a soundtrack. I have contacted a friend who is experienced in producing music and soundtracks and am hoping to have this to work with. Conversely, I am very open to recording my own sound effects and attempting to produce everything myself.

My solution to my apparent stage fright of actually animating something was to work as if I was making a very in depth storyboard. The small frame sizes meant I could work quickly, and keep the loose, scribbly lines that I feel add expression. This does mean that the digital reproduction loses some quality, but I like to think this adds character. So far I have only been working in pen, because I found that the jumpiness of its current state takes the eye some getting used to, and I feel that adding more information (e.g. shading or colour) will only worsen this. I hope to add in limited colour later into the story.

The story itself is not nearly as detailed or fleshed out as my previous 'alternate dimension' one intended to be. I found that I was getting very hung up on the logistics of alternate dimensions and how they would work, as well as the world building, and realised that that is not what I want this film to be about. I want to accurately represent the experience of having a mental illness in everyday life and the frustration that comes with this, using surreal and abstract imagery when necessary. I plan to make the story up as I go along, which will hopefully result in more organic, interesting results.